I think I’m ready for tonight! š #fridaynight #strapless #longhurrdontcurr #fun #yess
Ain’t a woman alive that can take my mamas place ā¤
My Better Half ā¤…where would I be without this woman…Irreplaceable Love…Never take your mother for granted…you only get one #mom #love #content #family
Dear God
To be Continued…
Remember when I was 5 and I would set up my karaoke and chairs in front of me with pretend people in my room and I would I sing out loud songs to you at the top of my lungs “Jesus Loves me” was my favorite
or how about the time when I was 8 I thought I was so creative back then with my rhythmic flow so I tried to write and make up songs about how good your love was, (you know it was pretty hard to find words that rhymed with Jesus Ā lol) Ā
Oh and remember when I was 11 and I decided to sing in a choir, and the Lady Pastor gave me a solo. I was so nervous the butterflies in my stomach could have flew me off the stage lol.. but i stayed Ā ”Praise is what I do” was the name of that song.Ā
I will never forget when I was 14 though, after singing and leading worship, I cried my heart out to you the feeling of your presence was so strong…I remember laying there for a long time.. .Remember the prophetic word being spoken into my life from you…about how I have a great assignment..iĀ didn’tĀ understand it but it sounded important.Ā
and remember when I was 17 that when you moved me away from the familiar, and I told you that when I move into this new church.. I didnt want to sing anymore, that i just wanted to sit in the pew like a normal teenager and be content… but somehow how I ended up back in the church choir on stage lol!!..singing a solo “This is the air I breathe” was the one…boy was I mad at you!! I told you I didn’t want to but for some reason you found a way to make that happen!…lol..Those were i have to say the best times of my life..Ā
what about 19 God, when singing evolved into a leading role again..man I would sing for you and not care what people would think or say I was free in you… I was living right by you..and nothing could stop me…Ā thatĀ when I begin to write again.Ā
Well God I am 22 now Ā and since the age of 21 I have craved for that feeling of being carefree. It has been so terrible that I have tried to find the song or how I once felt about music in other sources….I have asked for direction from other people of how to get back to that place and have got nothing but run-down old basic traditional answers..or answers that could only benefit them for being oh so “spiritual”. The song I once had as a child is gone..the passion I had in my youth is not there anymore…singing for you has had its inconsistent moments, where one day I feel your presence then the next I am faking the presence. I miss the feeling of going on stage and feeling your presence before and after. I feel like now Singing for you in general has only become a competition, a show, a gimmick used only to improve vocals for the secular world, a counterfeit investment for the loss, a placebo for the moment. I don’t feel the same way I used to feel when I sing for you its only when I am by myself but even then I stray. I feel a since of being stuck in my 20’s, and I just want to breakout of the shell. Help?Ā
Your DaughterĀ
Nikkie
God Replies:Ā
The only reason you cant feel me anymore because you are trying to fit old anointing into a new season. The situation you once had as a child required a different type of anointing but you are not a child anymore. “1 Corinthians 13:11” . Your oil requires new wine skin. Your calling requires more crying out to me, more talking to me, more focus on my word, more actions to what you speak. To whom much is given much is required. There is nothing wrong with where I have placed you ..I have you stuck here for greater development and more growth. So take a look around and embrace where I have brought you from. Be still and know. Don’t look to the right or the left of what you see from others, look up and true guidance will direct you. The joy, the carefree attitude, you experienced as a child is still there… but with growth comes pain…and what you have experience in your life requires a new song… So the assignment I have given you requires more than. Ā You are looking for help in all the wrong places, and have failed too see that I have given you all the tools you need in this season..keep working keep serving with the instructions that I have been given you..You are fighting me for more.. but haven’t taken care of what I have given you. Quit forcing things that will not work within this time in your life… Your are way beyond your years. Learn to Live as the days come, take care the little that Ā I have provided and stand on Matthew 6:33 and I promise i will do the Rest. Ā
Your Father,
GodĀ
Can’t wait to see these guys tonight ššš #mintcondition #concert #tonight @gudiizduh
You better werk. š#tcrealtalk #photooftheday
So I have been a hair model since I was in HighSchool and one thing I have noticed is that none of my full body pictures were issued in the magazine only these…hmm well I was called for a photoshoot here on Apr21 and My goal is to work hard to have a full body shot that is placed in the mag! #mygoal #Idoit #motivated #iwill #modelingdays #universalsalons #love #hair
JUS FRIENDS
Love is Pain,
A game that will never change.
Although sometimes I try to hide them
My feelings will always remain.
I should have never stayed around
I should have left when my feelings for him began to escalate.
But I fell deep into his arms, mesmerized by false words;
of being the only one HIS only one.
Hoping and believing that there could be a him and me
But knowing in reality, that we could never beĀ more than
Jus Friends
Because He is taken
And here I stand stuck between unrevealed chemistry.
Afraid to face the fact that Jus Friends is all weāll ever be.
Yet He say heās in Love with me yet Heās still with her.
and Iām drowning in confusion
Devaluing my Self-Worth.
What in the Hell did I get myself in to?
Why does it still feel there is something to hold on to?
After all there is so much we have been through.
The endless fights, passionate nights
BeautifulĀ memories between the two.
But how do I not know that what he has given me
Heās not giving to her too.
So I ask myself the question is this pain worth going through?
Cause even if I did have Him for myself,
No matter where we are in life she will be there too.
And what do I look like being apart of some ābreak upā success?
As sheās distress from the break up and I’m content in the mess.
IĀ couldnātĀ be apart of that.
So I ignore my feelings and face each day
Rejecting all phone calls just to numb the heartache and pain.
But I cant be mad, I must admit
It was my fault putting my heart unconsciously on display
Before a man that never even seemed to look at me that way.
I placed my self through painful tears and many sleepless nights
Protecting whatās left of my heart
From future rejection, hurt, and pain
And that girl HIS girl doesnāt even know I exist
Sheās never seen my face
And Let alone knows my name
So through all the turmoil and pain
She isnāt the one to blame
She has the privilege of being apart of him as the mother of his baby
And Iām just in the way.
Itās hurt me even more that she is even one step closer in time
Of day becoming his beloved wife
Meanwhile Iām pretending he is min standing on the sideline.
Cause we are
Jus Friends
That’s all we could ever be
But I still hold on to never ending Prayers of one day
Becoming the Rest of His Life, his wife, the apple of his eye.
I love him #picsitch #asu #highschoolfriends #realniggasdotcom #crackerbarrell #idoit #wedoit @datdude_j_a_m_s
Love will hug your mind so strong and Embrace your Heart so deep you could lose yourself just in the Fragrance it brings. -Nikkie
